He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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