you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
