still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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