go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
