I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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