dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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