morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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