I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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