I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
