what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize