That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.