TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????