So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.