so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
