so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
