i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
