Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
