I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
