it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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