im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.