Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever