Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.