Do you still have your period?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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