i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
