and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah