Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.