did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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