i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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