I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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