just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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