Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
