and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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