Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
