she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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