my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
