rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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