How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
