I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
