I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize