The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
