there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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