it was like eating out sand paper
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
