Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
