Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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