Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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