Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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