you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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