the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
