I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize