these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
