Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
