I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
