I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
