so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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