this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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