If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize