either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
