R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
