One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
