You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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