You just made me feel so damn special
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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