explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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