Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
