so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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