I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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